Happy New Year!!

Well, it’s here, 2023. It’s hard to believe that another year is over and we’re already into the next one. 

I hope you all had a lovely Christmas and New Year and weren’t too bogged down with this nasty cold / flu bug which seems to be everywhere. My eldest son was the first to by laid low, then my husband got it just before Christmas and is still coughing and spluttering. My youngest son caught it from him and has been suffering quite badly with it. I, however, have managed to escape it so far. There, I’ve just jinxed myself, I’ll probably catch it now I’m due back at work.

 

Christmas – well it takes so much preparation and then it’s over in a flash. I hope you all had a lovely Christmas, we did. We spent it with my husband’s family – twenty of us. We all chipped in with the cooking but hat’s off to my brother-in-law and sister-in-law for hosting it all. We had a great time but I was glad we had nothing planned for Boxing Day so we could all recover. There was another party on the Tuesday for a belated 21^st. And then my mum came to stay with us for a few days. It was lovely to spend some proper time with her, especially at this time of year.

 

Amidst all the celebrations, there is also a sadness to this time of year for me. Five years ago, just before Christmas my mother-in-law passed away. The following day, whilst my mum was undergoing knee replacement surgery, my dad was diagnosed with terminal cancer and passed away ten days later on 30^th January. This is him on my wedding day.

 

 

I still miss him so much and am sad that he’s not here to see what lovely young people all his grandchildren have become. I try to look on the positive side though, that he is not really lost to us, but is forever with us in our hearts. It makes me cherish my mum even more though, and I am eternally grateful that she is still very much in our lives.

 

It’s not been a great year for a lot of people, and I’ve had some incredible stressful periods throughout the months, but I have ended the year feeling positive and particularly motivated for my writing in the year ahead. Life is what you make it after all, and I’m going to do my best to make 2023 a thoroughly productive writing year.

 

Wishing you all the very best for 2023!

 

Out of the Loop

Last year I started out with every determination that 2017 would be my most productive writing year yet. Sadly it turned out to be the worst. My only two writing achievements were that I managed to edit a book I had written and submitted it to the RNA New Writers Scheme, and I attended my first ever RNA event - an afternoon tea in York which was thoroughly enjoyable and truly inspirational.

But throughout 2017 on top of normal work and family responsibilities, I was plagued by illness, both my own and that of family members. In June after lots of tests, I found out that I was suffering from a form of Rheumatoid Arthritis. Not only does this affect the joints, but the immune system as a whole, and it meant that I was constantly tired as my body was fighting infections which didn't exist. Being diagnosed was a bit of a life changer. On the one hand I was pleased that I finally knew what was wrong with me, but on the other I was faced with taking heavy duty medication for the rest of my life. It took a while for the medication to start to work and sometimes I was just so exhausted that I would come home from work and go to bed. Hence the writing took a bit of back seat.

Then, on 20th December, after a long and debilitating illness my mother-in-law passed away. It was sad to lose her so close to Christmas but she had been suffering for such a long time, in fact we had all been on high alert since early November, thinking every day could be her last. But 2017 hadn't done with me yet. The next day my Mum went into hospital to have knee replacement surgery and on the same day my Dad was diagnosed with terminal cancer. He had been a little unwell but none of us were prepared for that, or the fact that his health deteriorated very quickly and he too died, only ten days later on 30th December.

So at the beginning of 2018 instead of reviewing my goals for the previous year and planning for the next, I was organising funerals and overwhelmed in grief.  The funerals took place in January, both within a week of each other. Funerals are funny things, a juxtaposition of sadness and happiness. We celebrated both their lives with friends and family and had the satisfaction of doing both them proud even though our hearts were breaking. 

And then came the time of getting used to life without them. Some days would be fine and at others I could burst out crying at the drop of the hat. I guess that's just the grieving process, but I suppose one good thing was that both my husband and I were grieving at the same time and if anything it brought us closer together. 

The suddenness of Dad's death made me realise more than ever that this life is not a dress rehearsal. I had signed up to RNA New Writers scheme in January to give myself a deadline so I decided to crack on with my novel, work on my ambitions and make my Dad proud. And so February began with us all getting used to our new normal.

And then in the middle of February without any warning whatsoever I suffered a brain haemorrhage. At first I though it was a really bad and sudden headache.  I took some paracetamol and went to bed. Thankfully I woke up the next day but was in agony and phoned 111 ending up in an ambulance and on my way to A&E. One CT scan later and I was transferred by another ambulance to Walton Hospital a hospital which specialises in neurology. It turned out I had an aneurism which had burst and which could have killed me. Scary stuff. But the hospital were brilliant and after surgery I spent 10 days in hospital. That was 8 weeks ago and although the road to recovery seems to have gone on forever, life is getting back to normal. I'm still only working part time and from home (DVLA haven't signed me off to drive again yet) and I still get very tired, but compared to how I was, or how I could have been, I am so lucky.

So I'm getting back to writing again, but this time with a little more focus. Life is what you make it and I intend to make the most of mine!